Thursday, October 14, 2010

January 1, 2010, A new decade

an excerpt from a journal I keep...

A new decade begins, a new year begins. Who knows what the past 10 years have given us, it's too much to think about and, well it's unchangeable anyways so what's the use? More importantly is to start on a good note, start fresh because a new beginning has been granted to all of us to make better of ourselves.

Today I went to St. Michaels Cathedral for the feast of Virgin Mary as well as for New Years. It was very refreshing and a great reminder for the new opportunities that are ahead of us. All we can really do is make the most of each one or at least try to. 
There's no greater loss than a missed opportunity. An opportunity to make things better, to accept things the way they truly are, to change and, most importantly, to grow.

I then proceeded to Nathan Phillips Square to go skating with friends except we miscommunicated as it was actually at Harbourfront. So Eddy and I walked down there with Tim Hortons coffee in our hands to keep us warm in the very cold winter night.

We skated for a bit and as I was skating alone, at times I'd feel a sudden rush of sadness as a sad/slow song comes on, and the many couples skating together didn't help at all. But I was with friends, some true but definitely enough to overcome the feeling that brought me down. After, we went to Shoeless Joes, and I had just a beer while others had full meals because I had already eaten at Frans near Eaton Centre. I had a char-broiled sirloin beef burger with tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickle, cheese with fries and coke. It was definitely a filling meal to my stomach as it was to the soul as I had it with my parents and my brother as a start to the New Year.

After Shoeless Joe's, we parted and we, the Markham boys, made our way to Scarborough Town Centre where Martin had parked. We had a lot of moments to be by ourselves on the TTC and in the mall. I did a cartwheel in the empty mall, a kind of (hopefully) foreshadowing of the year ahead where I would feel like doing cartwheels as contentment enters my life again.
Now I sit here, 2:58am of the second day of 2010, not really feeling alone nor sad even though I haven't talked to her the whole day. Maybe I could get used to it and finally move on. I think I need it more than I want and I believe that it will be something that allows me to grow.

My one goal in the years ahead is to continue to grow to become the best version of myself for me and hopefully for someone else. No one knows what turns we choose to make will define us and shape us, and we may not even be able to see what's around the corner but the beauty of it all is that we all eventually get to the finish line, and that's guaranteed. So live a little more than yesterday, the year before, the decade before, because you never know how much a little step can be a giant leap for your life.

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