Thursday, January 27, 2011

People continue to disappoint me. I don't know what it is I do or I've done that makes the people I surround myself with temporary. They all manage to find a way out when their part of the story is not even close to finish yet. Some people lose interest and some are just too afraid to take a chance. I see people everyday, walking the earth clueless to what they want and oblivious to what they have. They want to do something for themselves but they never find anything worthy of their full attention. Jack of all trades, master of none. I see people everyday living in yesterday, regretting and dwelling the past, the unchangeable past.

Regret, I don't understand it, why do something if you even have the slightest doubt of regretting it later on. Or even simply, why regret the things you've already done, time only moves forward so shouldn't we train our minds to do the same. I guess that's the same reason why people continue to leave. They lack the ability to look deep enough into the perhaps, the maybe, the possibly that they walk away before they even get in.

Isn't life about the interactions, the people that enter it whether we chose to or not. Isn't it about the things we do or don't do and how we deal with it. What are people so scared of? There's really not much to it. Before you know it, you're old, wrinkled and unable. Disability is not so bad when you look at inability. When you're truly unable to do anything whether you want to or not. So why not do the things you want and need while you can. While the chance is still there.

The only fear we should have is having to look back when we're on our deathbed, not knowing what could have been, if only we had tried or tried harder.

Monday, January 24, 2011

still unstructured.

 It seems that way that his pieces lie scattered on the floor, among the dirt and dust. It's not that he keeps falling apart like a house of cards. But perhaps he's still unstructured, unconstructed, untouched. The rebuild has yet to start and it's useless to try and move forward as several pieces. It's like trying to fix a shelf with a broken nail. Its fix is temporary, the effort misused.

And so the pieces need tendering, and even if it forms into something new and different, it would be sufficient enough for living. As for now, he's at a pause, moving but stationary. It's neither a sad story nor does it necessarily mean to have a happy ending. A story, in its simplest and purest form, is quite simply enough. It's his story and history.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The sound of quiet contemplation

When you see things before they happen.
When you're hurt before getting hit.
When you're looking for a sign, anything to hold on to, and to hope for.
When you're face flat on the floor before you even get to stand on your feet.
When you lose something before even gaining it.
When the sky turns gray before the sunrise.
When it pours before it rains.
When you feel completely helpless.
When it's as hard to close your eyes as you open them.
When you wakeup into dream and sleep in reality.
When the world turns upside down before it's even fully formed.
When breathing seems like a workout.
When nothing's going your way.

And no one can notice nor understand you.

When you're dead before getting the chance to live.

The feeling is as unique as your very self, but the process,...well it's universal.

Monday, January 17, 2011

A momentary lifetime

Do you ever imagine yourself standing on a cliff. The ocean right before your very eyes as waves crash upon rocks so old as the water right beneath your feet.

You look into the distance wishing the wind could take you with it. To soar above the calm and stormy seas below you, sailing across wherever the wind will take you. It would bring you over tiny uninhabited islands surrounded by white sandy beach populated by nothing but trees as green as the Earth once was and exotic wildlife living to survive another day. Birds, tankers, airplanes full of people would pass you and you notice them as little as they notice you. The clouds are now above and below you, blanketing your view of the earth and the rest of the universe. You are stuck in between.

It's uncertain when you will arrive at your destination, and even that is unknown all by itself. But it doesn't matter. For at that very moment, you finally feel a part of something, being away but completely one with nature. And you no longer feel pain nor fear nor anger nor sorrow. There's absolutely nothing you can worry about even if you tried. You feel neither young nor old, nor aging. You are just what you are in that instance: unchained, able and free-spirited. You feel the world changing and adapting to your nature and not the other way around.

There are moments in our lives when all our worries seem to briefly disappear. So short and limited yet they can last a lifetime.
I live for those moments.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Umpteen hours in a day

There are theoretically 24 different timezones in the World, running every second and every minute of the day continuously. (Without taking into account places that do or don't use daylight savings time). So to the bare minimum, ideally, there are at least 24 different people living in all different times of the day.

In some cases, if the timing is perfect, it's possible to have a day last up to around 47 hours. (It took me a while looking at my globe lamp to figure this out) If a person moves from the west side to the east side of the international date line at the appropriate time. Now that's not even that complicated, how about living right at the North (and South) Pole? What timezone do they operate and well how do they tell when the day starts and ends? Maybe there's no right timezone.

A day is defined as a full rotation of the Earth about its axis and lasts for approximately 24 hours. But whether you get more or less than 24 hours in your day, it doesn't really matter. What matters is what you do with what you have. Like a lot of things in life, a day is valued with how you spend it and in most cases, who you spend it with.

You may find yourself having 47 hours for one day, but if you don't spend it the way you want or need to spend it, what is it really worth? They say our days here on Earth is numbered, but does it really matter when you don't use every single unit of your time remaining to its fullest potential?

Find what it is you deserve, what it is you want, and/or what it is you need and go for it. As cliché as it may be, life is for living and you have full control of it...right now!

"What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable"
-John Green (An Abundance of Katherines)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Empty Perfection

She opens her eyes and to her amazement, she sees herself standing before a beach.

A beach with sand so white as the limited clouds in the sky filled with bold blue sky above. This beach seemed different for she noticed a completely flat and untouched texture of the sand giving indication that no single foot have taken step on it before hers. In the distance she sees large shore-like rocks shaped by the waves of ocean water crashing against it with a mighty force.

She walks along the beach, taking each step with her breath, slowly so that she could savour the moment forever at least in her mind.This very moment gives her heart inexplicable joy and she feels content as if her very life was oriented to this very moment.

She turns around, now with her back against the wind. Her dark brown hair with slight light brown highlights gets blown forward over her pale skin tone of her face.  Tiny strands of hair perfectly, and imperfectly fall over her face and her dark hazel eyes, which were now staring into the distance. Her hair is messed up and arranged now so naturally, only the wind could do. She notices the same beach and nothing or no one else in sight.

At that very moment her heart died and a rush of sadness flowed through her veins. That very feeling of your soul seeming to leave the body, escaping through every pore of your skin, until you get that tingling feeling up your spine. At that perfect moment, in a perfect place, she felt inadequate and empty, for she was all alone.
Absolutely no one to share perfection with. There's no greater sadness than an empty perfection.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My Name Is Charlie...

All I am, is nothing but a cat
But to her, I am much more than that.
A loving companion, whenever she's alone
She'd let me roam around, in her tiny little home

My first family couldn't stand me
As I kept biting, they kept yelling, Charlie!
When they left, and I was left on my own
She saw me as the turn to her frown

I'm her special one, all dark and sly
Sneaky like a ninja, and fast like a fly
I was hungry and she would always feed me
And all this I have for nothing more than free

I could never ask for a better owner and more importantly a friend
She saved me, she's truly heaven sent
She'd even take me to trips far far away
But she would never let me go astray

Sometimes though, I'd have to work hard for her attention
So I'd always climb on her bed, to wake her for some luncheon
She gives me blankets when I'm cold
But I know in reality, the best warming is from her hold

The only thing I don't like, is when she takes me to the vet
Like I'm some kind of normal pet
I wish I could tell her, I'm much more than that
Just look at me, I'm healthy and not even fat.

But I guess she has to so I wouldn't get sick
So I wouldn't pass it to her whenever I'd give her a lick
A kiss, a scratch, a purr or any other
Things that no one else does...we do them together

So with all the love that she has given me
I wish for one thing and one thing only
That's to let her know that I love her and I always will
That what we have is much more than the real.

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Pennies are worth more than a cent...

Try and think of the many things a penny can be used for other than its value as money. Its copper like substance, rounded edges, faces, pictures, numbers engraved onto its very surface is usually more than one cent.

It's a coin, one with two sides which can be and is often used as a choice decider.
An entertainer, for it can spin for a limited time and can give a person excitement in times of (severe) boredom.
A souvenir of a country or a place or a time, some even have machines that turn them into pendant like oval shaped souvenirs in remembrance of a landmark.
A flat head screwdriver replacement.
A collectors item, a piece of history.
A poking device for things such as a stuck quarter in the vending machine.
A wish at a wishing well.
A good luck charm when found randomly.
Or perhaps a very non-lethal, or lethal, depending on certain conditions, weapon when thrown or dropped at something or someone.
But most of all, it is one cent, five cents, a dollar and a million dollars, for all money starts with one penny, one cent.

With the one purpose of its creation, many other uses arise and perhaps we can learn something from that. We may feel that we are created for a single purpose or goal in life, and sure some people have proven it to be for their case. But its only appropriate to discover and explore and appreciate the many other uses we may have for our life along the way.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The infinitesimal can make universes.

There's a heavy weight lingering in my mind.
Pulling not only my thoughts, but also my thinking.
Not the content but the process, the way
ideas come into being.

This burden brings it down
like a boulder on top of a hill
One tiny push can escalate into mayhem and
I start to lose grasp on which way is right or what is real

The perception is also altered like a cold covering a disease.
Disguising itself with the season and its surroundings.
As others come out of it, the virus becomes unbearably strong and takes over
the body and soul.

Until I become neither better nor worse
Neither content nor sad
Neither dead nor alive.

Do not worry of how things are changing but be watchful of how it changes you.
Your way of life, even to the way you take a breath.
For an infinitesimal change in you has far greater weight than a complete change of everything else.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

A promise

To the 0 readers i have haha, this is a promise to make more posts on this blog.
I usually just post stuff on my dailybooth, tumblr or facebook note when I'm lazy.

But as my final year as a student pilot comes to a near close. And so begins my journey of a commercial pilot, if I still have this, it would probably have more content of right now unknown things.

We shall see

Happy New Year!!